Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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