I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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