She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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