there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
