planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
