i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize