There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
