I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
