How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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