pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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