hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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