So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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