What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
