So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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