i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
