umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
