love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
