I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
