sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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