ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize