Kiss
Puke
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
