listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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