While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm at about main and main street
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
