please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
