I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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