is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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