3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
