I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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