I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
