Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
