i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
