i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
