billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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