So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
