I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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