i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
