He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
