I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize