I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
