Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
