My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she peed on how many people?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I can't put those talents on a resume
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
