I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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