This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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