With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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