He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
