I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
