she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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