I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
