Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Randomize
