You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
