sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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