come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
