Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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