I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
