Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
