11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she told me i tasted like america
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
