how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
