We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
