I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it glows. i had to have it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
