I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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