My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
