Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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