I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
