Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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