no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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