I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
