giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
