i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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