I'm lost and stupid without you.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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