She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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