I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
