My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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