We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i used baking grease as lip gloss
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
