Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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