Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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